I think i peed on brittanys purse
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
