Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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