people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
