The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
