Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
