Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize