idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just want nice things and good sex
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Randomize
