with your own penis?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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