Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
