she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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