yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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