yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
