I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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