So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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