I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Drunk is a universal language darling
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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