so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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