she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
