and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
