Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
