it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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