Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
foreskin is a definite game changer
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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