So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
