Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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