A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
