his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
