belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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