I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
