That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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