I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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