so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
