i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
