You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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