What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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