I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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