never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
