you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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