So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
