he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
