i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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