it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
