well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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