How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
