I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you didnt know i had herpes?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you fell through a lawn chair
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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