I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
