I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
