So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
