Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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