I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize