good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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