just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize