my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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