She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
