She is in my trunk
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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