if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
