I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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