I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Randomize
