You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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