Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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