ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
When are your genitals available?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
