It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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