Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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