I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
