you guys were way drunker than both of me
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
