i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
