Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
