i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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