My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize