We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You don't make any sense
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